Proverbs 27:5 ¶ Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Peter was rebuked openly by Paul for his
inconsistent testimony.
Galatians 2:11 ¶ But when Peter was come to
Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. 12 For
before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when
they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of
the circumcision. 13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch
that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. 14 But when I saw
that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said
unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of
Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as
do the Jews?
It was better for Peter for Paul to rebuke him
publicly as a Christian brother than for Christ to have Peter’s secret devotion
at his trials when Peter denied him.
John 18:25 And Simon Peter stood and warmed
himself. They said therefore unto him, Art not thou also one of his disciples?
He denied it, and said, I am not.
I would also rather have a friend openly tell me
that I am wrong and steer me away from the disaster that is often the consequence
of sin than to keep silent out of some presumed type of loyalty and let me walk
off a cliff. What good is your friendship if you don’t have my best interest at
heart and you don’t care enough to warn me about what is not in my best
interest?
It is better to have open rebuke from a friend
than to have a quiet acquiescence to my foolishness. A real friend will be
faithful and true to you even if what they say hurts for a moment but the
person who truly is your enemy but pretends to be your friend, even his
affection is deceitful. We are told in the Christian church to let love between
us be sincere and without the pretense that dissembling and dissimulation
affords.
Romans 12:9 Let love be without
dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
If you truly love somebody, as we are called to
love our brothers and sisters in Christ, then you will not withhold the truth
from them, even if stating it to their face is hurtful for a time. Your open
correction of them is more valuable than your secret affection. A true friend’s
affection is genuine and “faithful” but a false friend’s affection is a deceit
and a lie.
How many of you have been betrayed by the silence of a
“friend” or realized that this friend’s love was not real, after all? They
could have been a spouse, a dear friend, or a work colleague but in the end you
would have been better served by someone who you thought of as an enemy than a
false friend like this. Men often resent the correction or concern of their
wives because they want to be “large and in charge”, as in one of the urban
definitions of being on top of their game and knowing the score. They can’t
stand to be warned that something is wrong. A mature man would do well to
listen to his wife’s concerns unless, of course, he doesn’t view her as his
best friend which is an entire other problem we won’t go into here.
Remember, Joab’s kiss (2 Samuel 20:9,10) and
Judas’ kiss (Luke 22:48) were deadly. Be true to your friends and church
brothers and sisters. Their lives, maybe even the destiny of their souls, may
depend on it.
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