28 ¶ He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
A similar thought was given in a previous Proverb.
Proverbs 16:32 ¶ He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
In this context spirit, lower case “s”, refers to man’s spirit as opposed to God’s Spirit which is always uppercase “s” when referring to the Holy Spirit. With the lowercase “s” spirit can be a reference to the will, desire, emotions, and mind without necessarily being a reference to one of the three major components that make up the higher animals, man, and God; body, soul, and spirit.
For instance, Caleb had a different “spirit” in them when he reported on the Promised Land.
Number 14:24 But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.
And again, unless you believe the following is a reference to demonic possession, then this is a feeling that has come upon a husband.
Numbers 5:14 And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:
The point of this Proverb is simple. If you have no rule over your emotions, your will, and your desires you are defenseless. You’ll be blown about by every wind of fortune, or misfortune. Your relationships will be all based on knowing how not to set you off and you and those you claim to love will be miserable.
My suggestion is simple. Apply the balm of God’s word to your life. I can’t guarantee exactly what will happen or how long it will take but if you commit yourself to reading God’s word, His Bible, every day to a great extent and praying over what you read, God will speak to you, and calm your soul. You may always have a relatively short fuse but you’ll give God the control, not yourself. Most Christians neither understand the power of God’s word nor are they willing to submit themselves to it regularly and in depth. I am not talking about Bible Study, although that is an essential part of learning God’s word. I am not talking about memorization, although, that too will help you learn to meditate on verses and to consider them. I am talking about simply reading the Bible.
Admit it. You don’t do it. Start today. Pick it up and begin reading expecting God to show you something, to do something with you. Come to it expectantly. Let God control your spirit because you have proven to yourself time and time again you aren’t in control. You are defenseless. Almost anyone has the power to make you angry, sad, bitter, disappointed, paranoid, humiliated, furious, and miserable. Satan knows this. Over and over again he’ll destroy your testimony by putting someone in your path, your helpless “baby Christian” path who will totally obliterate your puny defenses and render you useless for God’s purpose as you explode into a thousand fragments over the least little nuisance.
Forget about controlling your family, your friends, your coworkers. The only person that needs to be controlled is you. Let God do it through His word. Sanctify means to set apart for God’s purpose. Jesus prayed for His followers.
John 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.